My perfect 5 years later

Asked by a friend about “what my perfect day” would be like 5 years from now got me thinking. With first thought, the answer seems very simple. You can list everything you wish to go and cram it into you day, and call it a dream. No me, I thought about my perfect day. The more I thought the more confused I was.

It seems in life, there are two fractions in which we every so often have a hard time differentiating. For one, there is the thought of fantasy and hopeful bliss we sink into, smiling blatantly as we cultivate our 5 years later. Personally, I was wondering if my goals are being blurred by my fantasies of the “dream”, therefore creating a tug of war roaring amid reality and fiction. It has; in-fact brought me to doubt if my set goals, expectations and plans are just vivid dreams molded by an idealistic surrounding. I wonder if my “dreams” are those of true meaning, or just optimistic philosophy, taking me towards a long path ending with self destruction. I had created a list in my head for what I assume I want. Not sure if my assumptions are those of true meaning. A loving husband, a successful career and maybe a baby where on my top 5 list. But, when I came to my detailed account, I found it difficult to in fact mine into what I want in life. I think our surroundings of culture feed into out minds and somehow capture an image and create a dream we never thought. A happy family is a lie. We are all unhappy families living in hiding of our reality. There are always those who are hiding behind a secret, ashamed of the public. Underneath the ruble and broken hearts are clones of the same realities with different content and text. You are never alone. A fake commercial is never better than your real life. Life’s up’s and down’s are what make it bittersweet, it’s what makes us laugh and cry. Never turn your back on life, never.

As we pass through life, there is always someone out there who feels alone, ashamed, and broken. In contrast, there is another person out in the world, somewhere, someone out there praying and thinking of that other person. Do you understand? In this strange world, even when we are alone, we are together. The feelings we have sometimes consume us with overwhelming pain that overshadows the rational truth of who we are. I have had that moment. I rose above it with years of deep thought into the meaning of life, struggle love and pain. It’s never easy, because easy comes after hard. There is this deafening feeling of a sunken ship in your soul, you feel it take you down, you don’t have the strength to stand up. Did you ever feel that? It’s what we all go through in this so called life. I wish I never had that feeling. There is a side of me that thinks…I wish I was happy, I wish I was content. Then, I would comprehend my feelings, my right side would speak…I would never learn and never achieve, never grow and never feel… I would always be on a one level high. Through the journeys I’ve took I learned how to take in the pain and then release it. For a long time I felt like a wounded solider that will never come again to glory. Glory, I would learn in of inner self, not a medal badge. The Power to smile, to keep one foot in front of the other in what my perfect 5 years later would be like.