air

So it has dawnded on to me, life aint what it was cut out for me to be
nothing glamorious, just growin older,
too much pain over my shoulder
the days are lonley and the nights are colder.
I dream about my happy days I yern for them, I’m a figter, a trained soilder.

To keep the moral up, I have to be positive, happy and strong
I’m not sure about it, I look at my watch, I dont know how much I can’t this any long
It’s just easy to do whats right, but never easy to do right for whats wrong
I once heard this song, it made me cry…I wanted to spread my wings and fly
I wanted to go to a better place, maybe heaven, maybe near it…I’ll seatlle for anything
what ever god can bring, I can take it, I can stand the wind

Life Laundry.

Life is complicated, painful and testy; looking around it’s just full of distortion

I wanted to kill the baby, I wished she had an abortion

This episode of life is full of commotion, this is just a notion I want to move away far from all the

Motion

Happiness to me seeming to only be a notion

Still and peaceful

I feel busted and unwanted, weak, lonely and broken hearted

My life is messed up, everyone acts so retarded

I want to have it all, shove it up your ass and show you how lucky I am a rewarded

Killing for no reason, shooting up for treason, this is the cold season

It’s 20 below freezing, my heart is busted up and bleeding, there’s so much I’m going to be needing, I’ll send you a great pink lovely greeting

I will never let you hurt my mother of let her be weeping, no one around me be creeping

My revenge will destroy your life all around you leaping

Reaping and heaping

This the beginning you ugly short fucked up beeping

I don’t understand why people lie, sell their loyalty and stab you right in the back

Hearts are cold, eye’s are blind, bodies full of crack

Do you got my back? Or should I stuff you in a sack, watch you suffocate and hack

The world is majestic and black, cold, hard, merciless hurry run down the track

I got nothing to pack

My pride is strong, I never did anything wrong

The journey of discovery is really long

Everything I ever wanted, everything I loved, cherished is all gone

short lived.

You left me, you walked away, I wish you never came

You broke my heart, you shred it apart, you went to those other people

do they know your name, did they struggle with you laugh with you, did they know your sane

watch my tear fall like hail and rain

out of this I lost and you got all the gain

I hate to feel anguish, sorrow and pain

These past years you’ve become, cold, far and vane

I’m a leave, swerve in and out the lane

Die with no pain

Heart with no love, eyes’ so cold, soul quiet , room silent, anger so violent

Kick the wall in ,vent, I wrote this letter but never sent

My life has become empty and worthless, just plain

To you I shift all the blame

I wish everything was nice and happy I wish it was the same

I forgot what you look like, how about you do you even remember my name?

unhappi

It would be hard to walk away, it’s something I had to do even when I didn’t want to
I never forgot about you

Life threw me aside, stomped on me I don’t know why
This never seemed to get better, I think I should pray more, be more censer and clever.

I want to run from my pain and start again, start over, maybe then I’ll be happy, and I can recover
I know I always keep everything inside, build up, I’m just not yappy
I feel hurt, alone and frustrated, I feel scared, angry and just exasperated.

I sit here and wonder if this is all life has to offer. I made plans but they don’t seem to work.
Most of the time I dream or better days, other days I just feel like a jerk.

what can break you from the cycle and give you hope, fill you with dreams, love and passion, compassion, empathy, sympathy, glory and pride,  morals,values and conquer all you can stride.

I want to believe, I want to work. I don’t know what to do with all the bricks on my shoulder. All the baggage I’ve been carrying seems to hold me down. I’m not ready to forgive, No ready to forget, no ready to smile, not ready to laugh, no ready to take, and instead crack

There is so much I lack
I dont trust those around me I feel like they are all wack, full of jack. I always feel like I’m on the attack
Can someone appretiate me and present me with a plank

dead.

Death and death in which I do not know

What is life has to offer that it has not shown

A shadow of what is me and if not, I will rise and shine like no other has done

I am weak, I am strong, and I am all what is in-between

I see and feel the end is near; the forbidden love has killed me

I can not hide though I am here; I hover over the shadows of the sad yester year

I grace over and over the books and read love is no but a myth of fate

My fate is vein it is deep and dark, clear and horror I can not hold back

I don’t know if I can come close to it enough

It shines too bright I am blinded with it

I am covered in rain as I flout away, slowly and surly I cry my good tears

They come along not knowing what if

It is happy to show I am strong in the end

Love

Love is pain and pain is love. Love is heart ache, love is tears, love is compassion, love is passion. Love is a voice, it’s a picture of wrinkles. Agony is the reformed shape of love. You love as in die for.

Love is the glimpse of glitter shinning though your eyes. Love in the light possessing your body every time love walks in. Love is the glare that makes you smile. Love is a space, a dimension. Love is a phase, love is a legend. Love is not a shape, nor does it have a color. Love has no country, no origin. Love is a birth, love is process…

Love in the feeling that makes you fly. Love is the tears that make you cry, love is the hand you hold, the years you spend, the yes’s you say and no’s you wish you had.

Love is foolish, love is strange, love is scary, love is mysterious. Love is freedom, love is captive. Love is young, love is old, love is middle aged, love is a crisis, love is a being apart of me that can never reside else where.

Love is a heart beat, love is the moon. Love is the sun, love is light over the waves of waters spreading warmth through miles of oceans.

Love is cold, love is pain, love is death, love is lost, love is far, and sometimes near. Love is a question, and maybe an answer.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

The question of why.

Why does greatness die young, evil dies old.

Why does good hurt, and bad laugh.

Why do dreamers want it all, yet get nothing. Slacker get everything, yet wanting nothing.

Why does love leave when love is a peak of selfless passion.

Why does family hate you when you love them most.

Why are you abandoned at the door when your bleeding?

There are many more questions cruising through memories of a history book lost in the dust of time.

Why do the tear drops of the green eyes go unnoticed by the wavers of the hazel cold lover, gone with the wind of eternity. Never to come back, her eyes froze in time, soul released from ceasur.  Telling the tale of dripping ache.

N.A.

As Much As

As much as we love, as much as we feel, as much as we laugh and smile. As much as we dream and plan, as much as we’re romantic and lovable, gullible and sweet. As much as we are patient, as much as we help, we need, and as much as we want; we still need to remember that reality is the ultimate god of life. Reality is a deal breaker, a dream crusher, and a heart commutator. Not to be negative but we cloud our minds with deja vu and sweet lullabies we forget to think about the realism of life, and with that skipped thought we push ourselves to tumble into weed, crash into a wall, and cry out a river.

Think.

Decay

I blame you for the decay, the chipping away. The led that seems through, the pounds of drums syncing through the peddles, vibrating across the rivers. Leafs vane a story of puzzling game. Enigma was the theory of the creator in mind. The plays play out wonders of drama; sarcastic laughing of the century crackled by thee. I grow, with my eyes circling the motion silence around me too loud to listen to, too low to hear. The story was too bright to see, the scenes too dark to recognize. An army of water circled my eyes, ready to attack the battled fields of puples dried of grin. The lines of the facade I call face gloomed down, sunk deep into a cave of hiding.

Fuzz covered the realism, reality was blunt. Reson was on vacation and brain was frozen. Emotion silented, handcuffed my soul. Round up the laughter, all gone. The legs keep walking a vage line not directed by though, or a train of plans…just a line. A line that ran though every crack, circled every cloud, and ducked every bullet.

ALife