My perfect 5 years later

Asked by a friend about “what my perfect day” would be like 5 years from now got me thinking. With first thought, the answer seems very simple. You can list everything you wish to go and cram it into you day, and call it a dream. No me, I thought about my perfect day. The more I thought the more confused I was.

It seems in life, there are two fractions in which we every so often have a hard time differentiating. For one, there is the thought of fantasy and hopeful bliss we sink into, smiling blatantly as we cultivate our 5 years later. Personally, I was wondering if my goals are being blurred by my fantasies of the “dream”, therefore creating a tug of war roaring amid reality and fiction. It has; in-fact brought me to doubt if my set goals, expectations and plans are just vivid dreams molded by an idealistic surrounding. I wonder if my “dreams” are those of true meaning, or just optimistic philosophy, taking me towards a long path ending with self destruction. I had created a list in my head for what I assume I want. Not sure if my assumptions are those of true meaning. A loving husband, a successful career and maybe a baby where on my top 5 list. But, when I came to my detailed account, I found it difficult to in fact mine into what I want in life. I think our surroundings of culture feed into out minds and somehow capture an image and create a dream we never thought. A happy family is a lie. We are all unhappy families living in hiding of our reality. There are always those who are hiding behind a secret, ashamed of the public. Underneath the ruble and broken hearts are clones of the same realities with different content and text. You are never alone. A fake commercial is never better than your real life. Life’s up’s and down’s are what make it bittersweet, it’s what makes us laugh and cry. Never turn your back on life, never.

As we pass through life, there is always someone out there who feels alone, ashamed, and broken. In contrast, there is another person out in the world, somewhere, someone out there praying and thinking of that other person. Do you understand? In this strange world, even when we are alone, we are together. The feelings we have sometimes consume us with overwhelming pain that overshadows the rational truth of who we are. I have had that moment. I rose above it with years of deep thought into the meaning of life, struggle love and pain. It’s never easy, because easy comes after hard. There is this deafening feeling of a sunken ship in your soul, you feel it take you down, you don’t have the strength to stand up. Did you ever feel that? It’s what we all go through in this so called life. I wish I never had that feeling. There is a side of me that thinks…I wish I was happy, I wish I was content. Then, I would comprehend my feelings, my right side would speak…I would never learn and never achieve, never grow and never feel… I would always be on a one level high. Through the journeys I’ve took I learned how to take in the pain and then release it. For a long time I felt like a wounded solider that will never come again to glory. Glory, I would learn in of inner self, not a medal badge. The Power to smile, to keep one foot in front of the other in what my perfect 5 years later would be like.

Philosophy

The Philosophy of Life

These are some of my thoughts on life, love, dreams, egos’s and so forth. I want to share my thoughts will you? Go ahead and read.

1. Life is a game. The winner of that game is the one who has the guts to make the biggest moves, and play the biggest players.
2. It is not important whether your dream is neither big nor small, it is of the most importance that you have a dream.
3. What does it mean to be great? Is it your philosophy? Your money? Your pride? Your wisdom? Your accomplishment? Who has the right to set the standard for greatness?
4. Greatness is the respect you hold for yourself inside and out. Is it your thought of your possibilities. Your hope and your desire make you a great one within.
5. What makes you great is the courage to stand alone with your believes. To look into your enemies eyes and tell the truth. To die with the reality you made your dreams come true.
6. Some people lie to tell you the truth, and some people lie to cover a lie.
7. Some people tell you the truth just to lie. And some people tell you the truth just to hurt you.
8. You get hurt to learn a lesson. You some times get hurt to be humbled.
9. Being honest is not to tell the truth, Honesty is only but the intention of telling the truth.
10. Loyalty is not an act of faith. It is the notion of following who you are in some else’s foot steps.
11. Forgiveness is not an act of grace, but courage of a warrior. It is not easy to forgive. Truly forgiving is erasing the past, it is the object of comforting the future.
12. Being alone is not lonely; being lonely is when you are with out a heart.
13. Your best friend is not a friend, but a part of your other half.
14. A story is not a story when it has a happy beginning, middle and end. A story is a story when is has a happy beginning, a sad middle, and an unknown end.
15. Don’t be offended is you hear your painful truth. Your truth was your past, is your present, and will be your future.
16. Wanting to be rich might not be the greed for money, but greed of power. Being rich might only be a feeling you where looking for, the money was just extra.
17. Fame you want is not the money you want; it’s the ego or your imagination you will get. It is the character or your character.
18. Being young is the biggest opportunity to lay a might on this world. To take advantage of this opportunity is the definition of success.

DefineFreedom.

Notice when you watch a horse tracking through the winds, their long beads of hair wrestling the current. It seems like the true meaning of freedom. Like a flow of a surging happiness that no one can ever have, no matter how strong.

A small insect seems like a pathetic entity of nothing, but in reality a free being of god roaming the earth to endless life. The invisible lines that define us are bars of control destroying our birthed creativity. Stolen by age, and bound by cultural idiocy.

You wonder who are. And think if you are who you seem. If it was a mistaken thought and you are really a molecule smaller that the particles of air, another song went unsung.

Take a breath and smile. This life is what you got, but nothing you wanted. All along you wanted something, but never thought it was possible, but you still want it and you know it .It is yours to have. You wonder if you want the right thing. What is right and what is wrong was defined by the laws that seem to have been written by this earth that has taken us to a far.

Coming

Coming from the light of the dawn, aspiring dreaming to dream to the end I see a light brighter than the sun, deeper than the oceans. A walk through the waling winds of the Sahara, of the father of the prophets and the mothers of gods are those who fought and died of honor. To me the crystals beneath my feet snake between my toes burning the rage of history, a reminder of what was, and what has to come to me. I am the child of the man and the woman who went on to go and rise up to the heavens and through the trees. I look above to guide me to the afters of life. The creations of miracles skip the land of earth to nuerchers each other, to coexist peacefully as one. One soul has drifted away too far to catch it’s rain, the shadows behind. The eyes of the sky spy, don’t cry only let the words of your facade twinkle and shine. The fingers as tools gifted from your god works manipulating assets. I am lost. I am hollow from the deepest ends on me I quiver with questions. I fear the unknown of me I don’t want to find a shell, emptied by the pains of existence, the experiences made me, but took me hostage, ended me. I was gone. My eyes have frosted during summer days and then melted back into mother.

Thought

What do you do when the ultimiate power is gone, and your heart has been invaded.  The track of thought tumbles with an unnoticed speed dumd ahead of thought.

Earth Soul

A need for affection my heart is shallow, melted dripping the earth soiling the rock mountain of the shadows. A lace of freedom will need to fly the waters of heaven and the skies of seven. The layers of valves circled my body in an attempt to save the broken heart. The shell will break and pieces of the; will travel the earth to find perfection that is impossible. The possibility of chance is thrown out deep into the forest of my mind, tracing the traces of hope. Back into time we go and far too far for the eye can reach we travel, no our feet but our souls left briefly to find what we looked for, but never found. To ask a question that was forbidden still tickles my curiosity though making the lords angry with mercy of petty non sense. You are my child naive and clever they spoke one voice from the corners of the heavens carried by angels to my drums. I split a curve on my facade knowing the love was there for me to unearth.